13 Things I've Learned After Being Laid Off For The First Time

Embracing Change: 13 Lessons from My First RIF Experience

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I didn't fully realize I was going to be let go until Monday morning at 7:50 am. The meeting had been on my calendar since late Friday afternoon, but my optimism blinded me. I always knew it was a possibility, but some other conversations led me to believe I'd stay on board to rebuild after the RIF.. When a few of my direct reports mentioned they also had 1x1 meetings, it then hit me. I told them right away to brace for impact; things would be a bit bumpy today.

We got through that day, and many more. I now have an official start date for a new role, ironically on my 13th wedding anniversary. I'd like to think it's a sign (probably from Taylor Swift herself) that this is the right move. Prioritize the family. Have fun in my next role. Take others with you, and stay true to my core. Happiness should continue to follow, how can it not?!

If you are new to unemployment, welcome to the club! It's not so bad here, and I promise, promise, promise you, things will get better, way better. Thank you to all of those who made an influential and positive impact in my life during this amazing journey over to the Sunnyside. All of the texts and notes were extra special. If you know someone who was let go and you are wondering if it’s a good idea to reach out - it is. It’s never “too soon”. They will always remember YOU reaching out, and it makes a big difference.

The following are 13 lessons I've learned from my first layoff experience that hopefully, you can learn from too.

1) As Taylor says, "You Need To Calm Down."

Don't take this layoff personally. If you are new to being laid off, you will likely find it challenging. Stop dwelling on why it happened to you and not someone else. Being upset or trying to make sense of what happened can disrupt what could be one of the most transformative experiences that will shape your future positively. The people you worked with didn’t want this to happen, leadership sure didn’t either.

I went through a range of emotions. In a way, it was like being punched in the gut, voted off the island, or being told "thanks, but no thanks." However, many other talented colleagues were in the same position as I was. And many people in this world experience a layoff one or more times in their careers. I had gone 17 years without experiencing a corporate layoff, so it must have been my time. Plus, I knew the company had to embrace a new strategy - it was just business.

I used to daydream about being unemployed. In a way, I thought I manifested this to happen. I worked at an early-stage company that was in a growth phase. It was all work, all the time. Every spare minute was dedicated to work, both physically and mentally. It was intoxicating and unhealthy for me.

2) Celebrate New Beginnings With Your Fallen Colleagues.

The first thing that came to mind when my team and I were let go was to throw a party. A "get-together," if you will. We were down and out, but we didn't let that stop us. When one of my team members asked if it would be okay to bring leis to the lei’d-off party, I said YES! This person went on to land a fabulous role, and I'm so proud of her! My team was creative, and we had fun together. The fun didn't stop just because our beloved employer was going through changes.

We all got together three days after the layoffs. I had hired many of these people, so I felt responsible for them and cared deeply about their future. I also needed to show them that this setback, especially for those early in their careers, was just a small part of their journey and that it was happening for a reason. Leading by example was crucial.

It takes time to realize if something was truly “good” or “bad”. Loosing your job may at first feel “bad”. Later, you might think differently. I know I do.

3) Owning 100% Of Your Own Time Is Magical. Disney-Level Magical.

I had never owned my own time before. I had always traded it for money. Money, money, money. I had grown used to the cash flow and the fast pace. My entire life, I had wanted to be a "career woman," but what did that really mean? I also wanted to be a mom or just have time for myself. Couldn’t I have both?

When I was let go, my kids were a quarter of the way through a day camp that had already been paid for. For the first six weeks, I had freedom from 8 am to 4 pm. What a gift! Owning my time and being on my own schedule became priceless. My schedule never slowed down. I would often think, "How did I have time for a job? There's so much to do!"

Mike and I ran the numbers on what it would look like if I held onto my new $0 per year Domestic Engineer role. We agreed we could make it work. However, I still loved a good chase, which is why I continued to apply for jobs weekly. I made a promise to myself that I would only apply for roles that seemed to offer some sense of normalcy. While I loved the startup environment, I realized that I might thrive in that setting later in my career.

4) Embrace Downtime And Revamp Your Personal Priority List.

Eat well, clean house, and walk more. These were three main priorities that had received zero attention for years. You know what else I let die? This blog. It was hanging by a thread by the time I was let go from my corporate role. I wish I had found the time to nurture it because it's a great source of passive income.

I started to cook all our meals from "Eat Clean, Play Dirty." I had been stress-eating in my last role, resulting in an extra 15 pounds that I quickly shed early in unemployment. I also started to walk daily, sometimes for two hours per day. I also started to Zike. IYKYK.

5) Eat Well, Get Outside.

At my core, I'm a Food Scientist who studied food chemistry, processes, safety, and human nutrition. There was nothing about my life at the end of my last role that allowed me to eat well and move regularly. I was soon walking 4-8 miles per day with my new abundance of time, all over town (sometimes with this ridiculous weighted vest). If I had an errand, like going to Target or mailing something, I walked. One time, with a backpack, I hiked back from Target with a case of Prime on my back. What an adventure. Anything for the kids!

6) Spend Time Alone If Possible.

I know this isn't possible for many. My kids are older and in school. In my role before the early stage company, I was technically "part-time." I worked 32 hours per week and had every Monday off for three years. We used to call them "Mommy Mondays." I never once had a sitter or took time for myself. I made it a point to go on an adventure every Monday with the kids, which was often to a pool, park, or something easy. Those Mommy Mondays were special, but I never, ever took a Monday for myself.

Now it was time! I loved the peace and quiet. No emails, no Teams. When my kids went back to school, I would have snacks ready for when they came home on the school bus. It was and is glorious, and I hope that in my next job, I can continue to do this (at least on Mondays and Fridays!).

7) Support Others And Nurture Your Connections.

The layoff was fairly large. I connected early and often with those who were also laid off. I also kept in close contact with my favorite colleagues who were still with my former company. They are great people, and no doubt, I'll likely work with a few of them again in the future or be able to provide a referral or vice versa. I worked with a very talented group of professionals. We still have a long way to go on this journey.

I loved being able to provide letters of recommendation for my team members whose roles were also eliminated. I received the favor from many as well. Applying to 84 jobs in a 10-week period led to six legitimate opportunities with big companies in my industry. I applied to anything that looked interesting, casting a wide net. Two of these six opportunities were due to referrals before the initial interview. I didn't get those roles. The role I ended up accepting seemed like it was written for me. I had initiated my own connection with their team, but a former (amazing) boss and another friend helped to seal the deal.

8) Reflect.

If you could do your last role all over again, what would you change? How would you evolve? For me, the new jobs I was applying for seemed like a cakewalk compared to where I had been. That was the best thing about my past role - I managed a tremendous amount of complexity. It prepared me in a way that allowed my best and most confident self to come through in my most recent interviews.

My last role allowed me to appreciate the importance of wisdom and experience and how they translate into a company's success. I’m looking forward to representing this new company (and also to the employee discount!)

9) Start ticking off those 'to-dos' from your bucket list.

Taylor Swift, twice, check! A big birthday party for Theo with invites sent more than five days in advance, check! Long weekends at the lake, learning to spread fun out during the full week (not just saving it for the weekends), concerts, Cubs games, Barbie, pool parties, Naples, and sometimes, just doing nothing and loving it.

On a personal passion project front, I’ve been fine-tuning the details on my next blog endeavor and designing a new product that the world needs. I’m unstoppable.

10) Embrace 'funemployment' and make it your full-time state of mind.

One thing crucial to funemployment is financial preparedness. Unemployment insurance and a bit of severance can help as well.

Funemployment is a state of mind characterized by a positive and proactive attitude towards periods of unemployment or career transition. It entails embracing the freedom and opportunities that come with joblessness, with a focus on personal growth, enjoyment, and self-discovery. Individuals in a funemployment state of mind use this time to pursue passions, acquire new skills, and explore various aspects of life, ultimately seeking fulfillment and enrichment beyond traditional employment.

11) If you're ready to 'Shake It Off' and find a new job, make sure it's the kind that allows you to write your own career story.

When interviewing for new roles, look more into the future. How would this new role support the next chapter of your journey? Is it taking you forward? If so, pursue it vigorously. If not, it's likely not for you. Be as selective as your finances allow.

12) Reinvent yourself.

I've learned a lot from Taylor Swift this summer. Everyone deserves a comeback era. She is in hers, and I am in mine. With my career, I was at my lowest just three months ago (but only for a hot second). Now, I often remind myself that I can do and will do anything I set my mind to.

13) Embrace the Unwritten Chapter.

Much like Taylor Swift's albums, life has many chapters, and some of the most beautiful stories are yet to be written. Being laid off may feel like the end of a chapter, but it's also the beginning of a new one. Embrace the uncertainty, the blank pages, and the potential for unexpected plot twists. Just as Taylor reinvents her music with each album, you have the opportunity to reinvent your career and life. Your unwritten chapter holds the promise of exciting adventures and personal growth.

Cheers to new beginnings!